Five years ago, I spent one of the best summers of my life as a girls' ministry intern.  I was encouraged by my boss to look for three girls to really pour my life into and disciple for those short few months.  That was some of the best advice I could have ever been given, because I could have easily burned out had I tried to personally invest in each and every girl in the ministry.  One 15-year-old girl, Rosemary, captured my attention as I looked for someone who was teachable and ready to take her relationship with the Lord to a deeper level.

The relationship between Rosemary and I that summer was a lot of fun, a little crazy, and chock full of Jesus.  Rosemary tells me that the first time she met me, she thought, "Oh, she dresses cute and seems nice.  Maybe I'll actually get to know her this summer."  I'm so glad I chose my outfit wisely that night!  We spent that summer laughing and learning, and God helped me learn to create spaces to help girls feel like they could really talk about the junk in their lives without judgment.  However, I often found myself thinking I was not quite far enough from their ongoing high school struggles to really be able to pour the wisdom that I needed to into their lives.  I was 22 years old with much growing to do, and I just thank God that He uses us even in our brokenness and especially in our weakness.

That closeness I felt to the age of the girls in the ministry was good and bad.  On one hand, I could relate to most of their experiences because I had just gone through them.  On the other, I hadn't been out of high school quite long enough to grow and heal from all of those experiences.  I had to remind myself often that I was not supposed to be their BFF; I was supposed to speak Truth in love, hold them accountable, and be an example (Titus 2).  Something really neat happened, though, over the next few years...I got older, and Rosemary did, too.  As I grew, so did she, and so did our relationship.

When Rosemary graduated from high school, I watched in awe as I thought about all that God had carried her through over the two years I had known her, and thanked Him that I got to be part of just a tiny part of the story of her life.  I literally watched her transform from a girl who worked endlessly to throw off all the sin that so easily entangles into a young woman chasing hard after Jesus and proclaiming the Gospel to the nations.  She grew so much so quickly that sometimes I wasn't even sure how to keep up with her questions and needs.

When she went off to college, I continued to watch and cheer her on from afar.  I was thrilled when she found other older women to pour into her life, and equally thrilled when she continued to seek me out for advice in her hard hours.  Our relationship grew into more of a friendship.  She found herself asking me hard questions about life and holding me accountable just as much as I had in the past.  A beautiful part of our relationship is that there has never been any sugar-coating of the Truth.  She has always allowed me to speak into her life, even when it's exactly what she doesn't want to hear, and as she's gotten older, the same has gone for me.

We don't see each other near as often these days, and we don't talk as much either.  But every now and then, a text will pop up on my phone with some random, funny memory, like "Hey!  Windows down.  Radio up." (That's our favorite way to cruise around with our signature dance move.)  We're there for each other in the good, bad, and ugly.  Our relationship has certainly changed, but it makes me smile when I think about how God can take something like a simple summer internship and grow it into a life-long friendship when there is trust, love, accountability, and transparency with one another.  We are two very different people who love the same great God.  Relationships are hard work, and we have had our fair share of difficult conversations.  But as we have trusted God and walked this journey together, He has made something beautiful, and I look forward to seeing how God continues to shape our friendship in years to come.

A couple of lessons I've learned from my relationship with Rosemary and others like her:

1 - Girls' Ministry is forever!  I've been blessed to watch girls go on to become missionaries, girls' ministers, wives, mothers, friends, teachers, students, and world-changers.  The hard work you are doing in the trenches now may often seem like it is going absolutely nowhere - but you never know when a girl will pop up years later and let you know that the time you invested in her life was valuable.  Don't give up.

2 - As a girls' minister, hundreds of girls are going to come into the picture throughout your lifetime.  It's incredibly hard for most of us to accept, but you can't possibly personally invest in each and every one of them.  Jesus had twelve disciples.  Twelve.  This makes the hard work of investing in a strong leadership team so incredibly important.  Equipping leaders to invest in their own small groups makes it so much easier to focus on your "twelve"...or three...or one.  And when you choose to invest in a few relationships with excellence rather than a thousand with mediocrity, you may impact a life for eternity...and you'll probably end up with a very dear friend.

"Your job is to speak out on the things that make for solid doctrine. Guide older men into lives of temperance, dignity, and wisdom, into healthy faith, love, and endurance.  Guide older women into lives of reverence so they end up as neither gossips nor drunks, but models of goodness.  By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives.  We don't want anyone looking down on God's Message because of their behavior.  Also, guide the young men to live disciplined lives.  But mostly, show them all this by doing it yourself, incorruptible in your teaching, your words solid and sane.  Then anyone who is dead set against us, when he finds nothing weird or misguided, might eventually come around.  Guide slaves into being loyal workers, a bonus to their masters—no back talk, no petty thievery.  Then their good character will shine through their actions, adding luster to the teaching of our Savior God.  God's readiness to give and forgive is now public.  Salvation's available for everyone!  We're being shown how to turn our backs on a godless, indulgent life, and how to take on a God-filled, God-honoring life.  This new life is starting right now, and is whetting our appetites for the glorious day when our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, appears.  He offered himself as a sacrifice to free us from a dark, rebellious life into this good, pure life, making us a people he can be proud of, energetic in goodness.  Tell them all this. Build up their courage, and discipline them if they get out of line. You're in charge. Don't let anyone put you down."  -Titus 2, The Message